RECKONING WITH FEAR

by Charles Bowie

Halloween is a time of fun and co-splay.  It is a time in which we embrace fear.  During Halloween we desire fear.  It is a thrill ride for us.  We visit haunted houses and woods; dress up as monsters and fantastical creatures.

The irony however is that while fear is desirable as a part of Halloween fun, our daily fears are undesirable and they cripple our lives.  And the really scary part is that Halloween is about conscious fear, whereas our daily fears can become unconscious and haunt us.  These deep seated fears prevent us from moving forward and exploring what’s possible.  They can prevent us from doing what’s best for us and other people.  Finally, they can cause us to act in ways that stifle or our own and the world’s actualization.

I recently experienced deep seated fear in my accountability group.  This month we started the rejection therapy game.  Ultimately, the goal of rejection therapy is to “build muscles” around fear and create the conditions for our own self-transformation and change.  I looked at many of the challenges on the list and my mind began to come up with all types of reasons as to why we should not do this.  What I discovered about these reasons is that they were all grounded in fear; fear of change, and fear of the unknown.  Hearkening back to last month, it was and is a fear of the way the world can be; a fear of creativity and possibility.

There is a tension here between myself and the external world.  It would seem that my fears are grounded in things in the external world, as if the external world is placing limits on me; albeit there are times where this can be the case.  What I’m discovering however, is that if my fear is ultimately of change, the unknown, the way the world can be, of creativity and possibility, then part of the fear is not external to me but is of my own ability and power to intentionally transform my world and the world around me.

As mentioned earlier, one of the practices I am using to help with deep seated, hidden fear is the rejection therapy game.  What other practices might we commit to that would help us with fear?